Young Distortionist

I was walking home in the rain yesterday from the white person’s barbershop (Whole Foods) when I saw something very curious; an old Kerry-Edwards ’04 sicker alongside another “Question Authority” bumper sticker.

What’s strange about that you say? Why would a government suspicious, rights loving, apparently “authority questioning” individual support such a traditionally liberty infringing party. Is this young person confused? Did he or she think their sticker said “Question, Authority?”? What could have driven such a person to a completely unthinkable paradox?!

Or is it that somehow the best allegory for what has happened to the political system in the last 20 years appeared on the back of a ’97 Ford Taurus?

There is no nuance to this theory. When you see a bumper sticker, a shirt, a poorly designed cap that proclaims a love for all things libertarian is it more likely that that person has developed an affinity for blue or red? Things have changed drastically since the Reagan administration, but perhaps more accurately during the Gingrich years, that the traditionally freedom loving republicans have developed a fascination with all things controlling.

In recent memory, the hatching of the Patriot Act (among others) has turned what so many think of as the “party of smaller government” into one that feeds the beast so heavily it has become sluggish. Conservatives seem to trust the government more than any time in recent history; suspicion has shifted from the feds to neighbors.

Truth be told the “beast” metaphor that so many conservatives use for the federal government has been rendered obsolete by spending specific plans. That is to say the government has become a hydra rather than a manticore, where law makers feed certain heads and starve others. The firebrand heads are fed billions while the magnanimous crowns are being put on the South Beach diet until the scavengers of privatization come in to shore up efficiency (which isn’t always bad, but for certain sectors it is).

But I digress. There is no better metaphor for how far the republican party has shifted its base than the vinyl slapped on the bumper on some kids car. It is a party of Christian values that wants federally mandated yet canonically inspired laws on the books for every America, Jesus loving or heathen. There is very little left of the positive qualities that many who came before Bush and Reagan embraced; states rights (except for that little thing called slavery), reduced taxes, and the championing of the working person. Now we see a party that rewards celestial bank accounts in the hope that somehow the altruism of the rich will carry over to the poor. News: It doesn’t.

For those of you who don’t understand what I mean when I talk about the Diaspora of Republican ideals to the land of young liberals, ask a person with a “Question Authoirty” look on their face and see who they’re voting for. The obvious should surprise you.

Homework: 80% of voters think that Barack Obama will raise taxes. Go to whatever site you want, factcheck,com, Barack’s official site, any news source you want and you’ll realize how inordinately high that number is. Depending on the income sample used Obama will reduce taxes on 90% of families at the least and 95% at the most. So unless your family makes more than $250k a year, enjoy that reduced percentage. And watch Sarah Palin with Katie Couric on YouTube. Oh. My. God.