Partisan Hackery (Finally!)

OK it’s about time I start my partisan hackery. I know I’ve said time and again that John Edwards was the best candidate, that I liked his domestic plans and all that stuff. Welllllll, suffice to say I might have been wrong. He cheated on his cancer infected wife with a homely looking press person? Was that who it was? Alright, well, John I’m sorry but I’m changing my opinion because if you had been the nominee, I think we would have lost. I mean, I THINK so, but I’m not positive. Well maybe I don’t just think, I’m pretty sure. Fuck that, we would have lost for sure.

Anyways, like I said, Barack Obama is the best candidate out there. And while that’s meant to be a little funny since my devotion to John Edwards ended up making me look dumb, after finally seeing Mr. Obama come out with some very real plans I’m convinced more than ever that he is going to change things.

Now change is a relative word in Washington. I hate to break it to everyone, he’s not going to socialize healthcare within the 4 years he’s president. If he had 8, yeah probably, but with 4 I think, at best, he can get the ball rolling. And that’s a big ball to roll, hard to push but also hard to stop.

He’s also not going to balance the budget. We’re in a goddamn recession, I’ve stopped caring what certain economists say and started believing what my wallet is telling me. We hit 6.1% unemployment for the first time in 5 years. We have, what, a 3% growth rate? Everyone needs to get with reality, it’s a hard economic time, and that happens, it’s a natural part of capitalism. And it’s easy for me to say that when thousands upon thousands of people are losing their houses, facing INCREASING taxes as working class families (while the top 20% are paying less), and small businesses are failing. But recessions are what every capitalist society go through at one point or another, at least we’re not communist, they’re like a recession all the time right?

There’s a lot of things that politicians always promise and never come through on. That’s their job. It’s like running for class president in high school. Did we ever get those silk towels in the bathroom? The high class vending machines in the cafeteria? The cell phone charging station in the classrooms? Exactly.

So what will Obama do? Relative to his competition and what has been going on for the last 8 year, a hell of a lot. Even if only part of his tax packages go through, his plan will reduce tax burden on the middle 50% of America by $1100 on average. I think McCain would reduce it by $500? You can look at factcheck.org if you want to, but it’s somewhere around those numbers for McCain at least. I know Obama’s by heart now. Wow, that was hokie, I apologize.

He’s going to pay teachers more. Or try at least. Nuff said.

He wants to (and is going to, this is the one thing I’m positive about) reduce our dependency on oil. Oil in general. Not foreign oil, not unsustainable oil, just plain old oil. You people want a way for America to get back on top? It’s the damn non-oil energy industry. China is starting to slurp up the bottom of the barrel of conventional energy resources, and we are on the cusp on intense innovation in new energy frontiers. And what can we do once we hit that zenith? Sell off the technology to the Chinese! How is that not a foolproof plan? McCain wants to do different things with oil because he’s going to be dead in a couple years and won’t be able to see the new technologies. Did I just plant the seed of a new conspiracy theory?

And lastly there’s the fact that Obama is energizing a new base of voters. And while, on the surface that seems unimportant, I think that it has a covert consequence. Young people are voting again. I have friends who never would have voted who look at Obama and see some one they can finally relate to. One of my closest friends, a lifelong Jehova’s witness, who are restricted by religious dogma not to vote, is going into the polls this November and casting an Obama vote. People want to vote. Finally! Now if we could only get congress to issue a test so that people can vote. 18 to vote? I mean, sure, it’s a good age, but most of us are pretty dumb. There should be a test to be able to vote and a test to be able to buy liquor. And a harder to test to get into the army.

Listen, Obama isn’t perfect, he’s extremely liberal (which I love) and that kills some voter bases. He’s black. I mean, shit, there are some people who don’t think black people should be cops, are you telling me that even a majority of white people think a black person’s brain is developed enough to be president? I mean it goes that far for a lot of people, and please do not think that it’s limited to people in the South. It might be a scary thought, but get 10 of your white friends and get them to speak completely candidly about their views on race. You’ll be very, very surprised. NB: You want an amazing list of statistics on race, read Studs Terkel’s Race, just the introduction, and you’ll be amazed where we are in the race against racism.

There’s a lot more I could say about Barack. If there’s one more thing I want to tell you about him, it’s that he’s going to make an amazing president. That’s the only thing that’s for sure.

Next week: Why McCain and Palin are going to make you nuts for the next 2 months, and how absolutely nutty the good Governor from Alaska is. Hint: She was really into Obama before she got nominated.

Homework: Make some French toast with stale bread or some Challah. It is the best thing in the world. And no I’m not comparing Challah and stale bread, they both just taste good combined with egg and powdered sugar and syrup.