Young Distortionist

I was walking home in the rain yesterday from the white person’s barbershop (Whole Foods) when I saw something very curious; an old Kerry-Edwards ’04 sicker alongside another “Question Authority” bumper sticker.

What’s strange about that you say? Why would a government suspicious, rights loving, apparently “authority questioning” individual support such a traditionally liberty infringing party. Is this young person confused? Did he or she think their sticker said “Question, Authority?”? What could have driven such a person to a completely unthinkable paradox?!

Or is it that somehow the best allegory for what has happened to the political system in the last 20 years appeared on the back of a ’97 Ford Taurus?

There is no nuance to this theory. When you see a bumper sticker, a shirt, a poorly designed cap that proclaims a love for all things libertarian is it more likely that that person has developed an affinity for blue or red? Things have changed drastically since the Reagan administration, but perhaps more accurately during the Gingrich years, that the traditionally freedom loving republicans have developed a fascination with all things controlling.

In recent memory, the hatching of the Patriot Act (among others) has turned what so many think of as the “party of smaller government” into one that feeds the beast so heavily it has become sluggish. Conservatives seem to trust the government more than any time in recent history; suspicion has shifted from the feds to neighbors.

Truth be told the “beast” metaphor that so many conservatives use for the federal government has been rendered obsolete by spending specific plans. That is to say the government has become a hydra rather than a manticore, where law makers feed certain heads and starve others. The firebrand heads are fed billions while the magnanimous crowns are being put on the South Beach diet until the scavengers of privatization come in to shore up efficiency (which isn’t always bad, but for certain sectors it is).

But I digress. There is no better metaphor for how far the republican party has shifted its base than the vinyl slapped on the bumper on some kids car. It is a party of Christian values that wants federally mandated yet canonically inspired laws on the books for every America, Jesus loving or heathen. There is very little left of the positive qualities that many who came before Bush and Reagan embraced; states rights (except for that little thing called slavery), reduced taxes, and the championing of the working person. Now we see a party that rewards celestial bank accounts in the hope that somehow the altruism of the rich will carry over to the poor. News: It doesn’t.

For those of you who don’t understand what I mean when I talk about the Diaspora of Republican ideals to the land of young liberals, ask a person with a “Question Authoirty” look on their face and see who they’re voting for. The obvious should surprise you.

Homework: 80% of voters think that Barack Obama will raise taxes. Go to whatever site you want, factcheck,com, Barack’s official site, any news source you want and you’ll realize how inordinately high that number is. Depending on the income sample used Obama will reduce taxes on 90% of families at the least and 95% at the most. So unless your family makes more than $250k a year, enjoy that reduced percentage. And watch Sarah Palin with Katie Couric on YouTube. Oh. My. God.

To Vote: In Theory and In Practice

I have been, for at least the 5 years that I’ve been able to think critically about the political process and especially for the last 2 years that I’ve been able to think from both sides of the spectrum, devoted to the idea that a vote is a vote. Who you vote for doesn’t matter as long as you are voting. It is the 2nd most important thing one can do for their country (serving in the armed forces being the first) and sadly enough most people simply don’t do it.

Thank God.

In the last few months I’ve started to realize where the error in my thinking was; I always thought that there were no wrongs and rights, simply lefts and rights. For this year, I am completely mistaken.

I thought (and still believe for the most part) that the Dems and Repubs are extremely similar and that, barring radical decisions, things don’t change much whether the country is in democratic or republican control. I know that’s a rather broad way to describe things, but at my most cynical that’s how I see the political process.

This year, well this year things are different. McCain will, and I have to repeat this because it needs to sink in for full effect, McCain will mimic the 8 years of George W. Bush that we’ve already endured. He used to be a very independent thinker, (his “maverick” title is not completely a media creation, he did in fact use to be a, um, maverick) but that has faced a sea change in which he has become another Neo-Con gunner.  There was a time, up until maybe 3 years ago, that I said if John McCain ran for president I would most definitely consider voting for a republican. Changed my mind, sorry Johnny.

A vote for McCain is wrong, a vote for Obama is right. I’m not sure how much more blunt I can be in this vein. Take the VPs out of the race, take the religious ballyhoo out of the stumping in states like Arkansas and Virginia, and eliminate the color and you have two men who could not be more different in their views.

In my limited experience with people, I’ve noticed a trend. Articulation and intelligence (real intelligence, not academic stature) have a seemingly direct relationship with a blue vote. Unless people fall into the categories I’ve listed below, most of the people I know who are voting for McCain are, and it is tough to say this, not thoughtful. This is not to say that I don’t know some very stupid democrats, because I do. They know, and can think critically about, as little as their conservative counterparts, and that is just the way of the world. However, from a proportional standpoint, the  number of blank stares I’ve given republican friends greatly outnumbers those of the liberal ones.

There are a couple exceptions for which a McCain vote are “justified” although they are not exactly what I’d call “noble”.

1.    If you are a business person or have another occupation in which you gain more than $500,000 a year but less than $1,500,000 a year, then you are allowed to vote for John. Citizens who are in this sort of income bracket make enough money to be pissed about being taxed at a high rate but don’t make enough to be happy with what they have. Philanthropy starts when people have more than a few millions dollars in their bank accounts, until then they are the most conservatives of conservatives.

2.    If you are a religious nut then you are allowed to vote for McCain. Or, well, I guess you’re allowed to vote for Palin because I don’t think McCain knows much about religion. After getting poked by sticks in Hanoi for 6 years, you can’t think God likes you very much anymore.

3.    If you are a personal friend of either of the Republican candidates then you’re allowed to vote that way. Because if you don’t and he finds out, he probably won’t invite you to his next birthday party.

So unless one of you fall into this category, if you’re thinking about voting for McCain, please just stay home in November. I’ll make you some guacamole, order you a pizza, maybe even draw you a picture.

Homework: Think about your own friends, do you think you hang out with people who think too much like you? Does it piss you off or get you off when some one finally disagrees with what you think about the world? If you’re a republican, do you hear more stupid arguments for your own party or for democrats? Same thing goes to the Donkeys. The answer might not be as obvious as you think.

500 Billion Questions

So another fed bailout hm? $500 billion you say? Acquiring mortgages that no one else wants? Yeah?

I’m going to go against a lot of my very, very smart capitalist friends and say thank God. I know that a government acquiring immovable, illiquid assets might not be the best thing in the world because they’re basically spending tax dollars on shit we didn’t’ tell them to buy. It’s like your broker saying, “Hey I’m going to take your $200k and buy only penny stocks. Sound good?” The only difference here is that this might just save us from a much more serious recession than we were already in.

In the first couple hours of trading banking stocks are up in astronomical levels (JPM hit +$6.05 at 10 AM which is absolutely insane) and the DOW is up at least 300 points. Now all this could change in a matter of minutes or hours so I’m not betting the farm on this, but the early returns from the historical bail out are positive.

But see this is a blog, so what would a blog be without some completely unwarranted opinionated conjecture from the bloated ego of the writer? Exactly.

So really what has happened here is that all the “free market” advocates forgot to remember (and yes I know how ridiculous that phrase is) that capitalism is supposed to be based on small firms competing against each other while increasing competition and actually driving profits to zero because that’s what real competition does. So what happens when people say a firm is “too big to fail”? It means capitalism has screwed up and has let a company break the barrier of competition. We stop being price makers and start being price takers.

I’ve said plenty of times that a company like GE is simply too important and too big to ever fail. Then the stock slipped to $23 (it’s up to $26 today) and I realized that capitalism was right, the innovation and advance of people is based off small firms because that’s how competition becomes fierce and forces out certain positive aspects.

What does this have to do with the mortgage crisis? Well not necessarily that much. Except by the fact that predatory lenders are a product of the “too big to fail” phenomena. Mega banks stopped lending because they weren’t sure about secure returns and therefore smaller banks couldn’t get loans to help themselves and then people started not being able to pay off mortgages and the chain reaction kept going and going.

Alright that’s an extremely blunt synopsis of what I understand about the sub-prime crisis. I know that plenty of people will disagree with me because the government stepping in to prevent ANYTHING is antithetical to true capitalism. But, hey, sometimes shit happens.

Pontius Palin

Alright so the title may seem a little politically incorrect, but there’s a damn funny story behind it. One of the dems from Indiana got angry about all the negativity regarding Barack’s community organizing history. He ended up saying “Well, he’s a community organizer, like Jesus” or something along those lines. And then when questioned about how Sarah Palin’s gubernatorial experience might be better suited for the presidency than Obama’s senatorial stature, the Congressman responded with, “Pontius Pilate was a governor too.”

WOW!

That was a burn and I’m surprised it didn’t make more front pages or really any pages besides cnn.com’s sidebar along with “Paris Hilton berates new BFF” and “Former ‘40 Year Old Virgin’ Star Stabs Girlfriend”. Anyways that was an aside and something I just had to share.

I hope everyone caught Palin’s interview by Mr. Charles Gibson (the worst looking of the “new big 3”). I mean alright, she has solidified her place as a super neo-con and I’m glad it got here sooner rather than later. We all sort of knew that already, but some of the stuff was at a completely different level. Non-anthropogenic global warming? Semi-automatic assault weapons allowed (sorry Alex)? Non-funding of alternative energy sources? No stem cells whatsoever? No abortions for rape or incest victims?

Cool.

And those are just the policy decisions. I can understand how that is somewhat of a boon for evangelical neo-conservatives all over America; these are their desires exemplified. And all but the gun right thing (that’s a pillar of classical conservatism) are stalwarts of specifically neo-con rhetoric. I’m hoping, and I’m not so sure anymore, that this new-found limelight on the Republican pinup girl might accidentally illuminate how absolutely nuts the neo-con wing is. And there really is no word for what they want, it is plainly nuts.

This is not to say that I don’t understand what the some of the neo-cons want (I was going to say sympathize but then I thought of Nazi sympathizers and couldn’t get that image out of my head). The rich who don’t want to pay taxes because they, in the immortal words of J.P. Morgan “owe the public nothing,” aren’t morons, they’re just coarse. A lot of those who want their big ass guns aren’t hicks, they’re those who want their second amendment rights protected. And even those who think abortion is wrong in any situation are simply doing what their faith decrees, or what they think their faith decrees at least.

All that said, Sarah Palin’s completely blind devotion to the needs and wants of the, yes, crazy neo-conservative party base, bothers me immensely.

Let me be blunt, Sarah Palin is neither a talented nor a shrewd politician. She was a mayor and then a governor, which are two posts that are considered training grounds for an executive run (all three of our most recent 2 term presidents were governors. California, Arkansas, and Texas respectively.) However all three of those presidents served at least 5 years in the governors mansion (Reagan with 8, and Clinton with 9) and also served in other state or federal capacities before their election.

And in her limited executive experience as a mayor for 6 years (overseeing less than 7000 people) and 20 months of a state containing around 400,000 individuals (just for a point of reference, Obama represented nearly as many people as an elected official in a district of Chicago) she did very little, if anything. There are always the ad hominem attacks on a new candidate, and, well, I’m not above that. She spent $50,000 just to redecorate her new mayoral office without consent of the city council of Wasilla (and just understand how much money that is in a town of 7000 in Alaska). She built an emergency dispatch center for Wasilla and the surrounding valley at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars, which sounds great until you read that you have two dispatch centers for an area of 83,000 people while Anchorage (the only city in Alaska that many people know) gets along fine with one. And last but never ever least that famous “bridge to no where” earmark. She asked for the millions of dollars for the new infrastructure and supported it until the day it hit newspapers as somewhat controversial.

Palin is a terrible, terrible prospective vice president, and even though I don’t think the argument that she would make a horrible “prospective president” because of McCain’s age is that compelling, it does sit in the back of my mind as a scary scenario. Read anything about Palin’s stance on a multitude of issues and you’ll be convinced (unless you agree with absolutely every piece of neo-con doctrine, and if that’s the case then why the hell are you reading this?) that she is a nutjob of the worst kind, the kind with power.

So for this weekend: I hope every one caught the premiere of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia which is quickly climbing the ranks of best shows on television that will probably be cancelled in its prime (a la Arrested Development). It aired on Thursday night but will probably be replaying well into the wee hours over the next few days. And I also hope that some people made a killing on short sells this week because lord knows enough people lost money.

Partisan Hackery (Finally!)

OK it’s about time I start my partisan hackery. I know I’ve said time and again that John Edwards was the best candidate, that I liked his domestic plans and all that stuff. Welllllll, suffice to say I might have been wrong. He cheated on his cancer infected wife with a homely looking press person? Was that who it was? Alright, well, John I’m sorry but I’m changing my opinion because if you had been the nominee, I think we would have lost. I mean, I THINK so, but I’m not positive. Well maybe I don’t just think, I’m pretty sure. Fuck that, we would have lost for sure.

Anyways, like I said, Barack Obama is the best candidate out there. And while that’s meant to be a little funny since my devotion to John Edwards ended up making me look dumb, after finally seeing Mr. Obama come out with some very real plans I’m convinced more than ever that he is going to change things.

Now change is a relative word in Washington. I hate to break it to everyone, he’s not going to socialize healthcare within the 4 years he’s president. If he had 8, yeah probably, but with 4 I think, at best, he can get the ball rolling. And that’s a big ball to roll, hard to push but also hard to stop.

He’s also not going to balance the budget. We’re in a goddamn recession, I’ve stopped caring what certain economists say and started believing what my wallet is telling me. We hit 6.1% unemployment for the first time in 5 years. We have, what, a 3% growth rate? Everyone needs to get with reality, it’s a hard economic time, and that happens, it’s a natural part of capitalism. And it’s easy for me to say that when thousands upon thousands of people are losing their houses, facing INCREASING taxes as working class families (while the top 20% are paying less), and small businesses are failing. But recessions are what every capitalist society go through at one point or another, at least we’re not communist, they’re like a recession all the time right?

There’s a lot of things that politicians always promise and never come through on. That’s their job. It’s like running for class president in high school. Did we ever get those silk towels in the bathroom? The high class vending machines in the cafeteria? The cell phone charging station in the classrooms? Exactly.

So what will Obama do? Relative to his competition and what has been going on for the last 8 year, a hell of a lot. Even if only part of his tax packages go through, his plan will reduce tax burden on the middle 50% of America by $1100 on average. I think McCain would reduce it by $500? You can look at factcheck.org if you want to, but it’s somewhere around those numbers for McCain at least. I know Obama’s by heart now. Wow, that was hokie, I apologize.

He’s going to pay teachers more. Or try at least. Nuff said.

He wants to (and is going to, this is the one thing I’m positive about) reduce our dependency on oil. Oil in general. Not foreign oil, not unsustainable oil, just plain old oil. You people want a way for America to get back on top? It’s the damn non-oil energy industry. China is starting to slurp up the bottom of the barrel of conventional energy resources, and we are on the cusp on intense innovation in new energy frontiers. And what can we do once we hit that zenith? Sell off the technology to the Chinese! How is that not a foolproof plan? McCain wants to do different things with oil because he’s going to be dead in a couple years and won’t be able to see the new technologies. Did I just plant the seed of a new conspiracy theory?

And lastly there’s the fact that Obama is energizing a new base of voters. And while, on the surface that seems unimportant, I think that it has a covert consequence. Young people are voting again. I have friends who never would have voted who look at Obama and see some one they can finally relate to. One of my closest friends, a lifelong Jehova’s witness, who are restricted by religious dogma not to vote, is going into the polls this November and casting an Obama vote. People want to vote. Finally! Now if we could only get congress to issue a test so that people can vote. 18 to vote? I mean, sure, it’s a good age, but most of us are pretty dumb. There should be a test to be able to vote and a test to be able to buy liquor. And a harder to test to get into the army.

Listen, Obama isn’t perfect, he’s extremely liberal (which I love) and that kills some voter bases. He’s black. I mean, shit, there are some people who don’t think black people should be cops, are you telling me that even a majority of white people think a black person’s brain is developed enough to be president? I mean it goes that far for a lot of people, and please do not think that it’s limited to people in the South. It might be a scary thought, but get 10 of your white friends and get them to speak completely candidly about their views on race. You’ll be very, very surprised. NB: You want an amazing list of statistics on race, read Studs Terkel’s Race, just the introduction, and you’ll be amazed where we are in the race against racism.

There’s a lot more I could say about Barack. If there’s one more thing I want to tell you about him, it’s that he’s going to make an amazing president. That’s the only thing that’s for sure.

Next week: Why McCain and Palin are going to make you nuts for the next 2 months, and how absolutely nutty the good Governor from Alaska is. Hint: She was really into Obama before she got nominated.

Homework: Make some French toast with stale bread or some Challah. It is the best thing in the world. And no I’m not comparing Challah and stale bread, they both just taste good combined with egg and powdered sugar and syrup.

Move In

Hey guys, sorry Center Hold hasn’t had a post in a while, we’re having a little moving week so we haven’t had very much time to post anything. Lots of writing in the upcoming weeks. Hope every one has had a good time making fun of the Senator from Alaska. Question: If her and Hillary had a debate, what’s the over/under time for the governor feigning a heart attack to escape the wrath of Madam Clinton?

Jumper

Just to fend off any concerned emails and letters I’m going to start this off by saying that I have no death wish, or attention wish for that matter. I just want to jump.

My brother lives on the 35th (ahem penthouse ahem) floor of a highrise on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. Him and his girlfriend love to spend time up there with their dog and just take in the skyline on a daily basis.

Now it’s a roof. Which means there are edges that drop down to the street. 35 floors is nothing to sneeze at. It’s not Philippe Petit height, but it’s not exactly the jungle gym. It’s scary to look down at the asphalt to say the least, vertigo kicks in after a few seconds, and after that, well I assume there’s vomiting involved.

I am scared of heights. Well, no, I’m paralyzed by altitude. I made it to the first section of the Eiffel Tower, I wouldn’t even go inside the viewing section of the Empire State as a kid, and well, the Hoover Dam is just a drive-by attraction for me. But there’s something about being on top of that building that scares me in a deeper place than pure height does.

I just want to jump off. With a parachute, or wings, or whatever mind you. I see myself getting a running start and leapfrogging over the barrier facing New Jersey and looking down on Riverside park. I guess I didn’t realize how crazy I sounded until I actually wrote it down. But like I said, there’s nothing depressing about this. It’s just something to do.

I feel like Christopher Walken in Annie Hall. He turns to Woody Allen and says “on the road at night… I see two headlight coming toward me. Fast. I have his sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car”, to which Woody replies “Right. Well, I have to- I have to go now, Duane, because I, I’m due back on the planet earth”. That sudden impulse to just do something completely destructive engulfs more people than you think, it’s just that most people wouldn’t admit it.

I mean, yeah, I might be slightly crazy. I’ve explained the concept to a couple friends and they give me that “Yeah, I completely understand what you mean. This one time I really wanted to cut in line at the cafeteria, but I didn’t. I was really close, but I thought some one might give me a bad look”. Well to tell the truth, that’s the kind of stuff I usually wouldn’t do. I’m a big wuss when it comes to slight breaking of rules. The big stuff though, that’s fine. I don’t know what they call that, but there’s a probably a name that ends with “mania” that describes exactly how I feel. Destructomania maybe? That’d be a good name for a monster truck.

I don’t think I have a destructive personality though. Most think a destructive personality is developing a healthy coke habit or eating endangered species, but honestly that’s just the surface of what most people want. Jumping out of a moving car, juggling flaming chainsaws, I would probably draw the line at Russian Roulette, that’s for the real nuts.

Or diving in a shark tank. That’s some bullshit.

The Neo-Con Paradox

After mulling over what it means to be a liberal for the last few years of my life, and in turn realizing that there are stupid liberals in numbers equal to stupid conservatives, I’ve decided to take a look at the other side of the equation in this piece. If you’ve been reading with any regularity you’ll find that I am a decidedly staunch liberal in nearly every aspect. However, like most liberals in my generation, my extended family is a milieu of classic and neo-conservatives with a peppering of moderate liberals. In taking a look at what it means to be a neo-con I’m really trying to see the values that they embrace and how the hell they fit into my family.

As of August, 2008 America has two political groups, and no they aren’t republican and democrat. They are the neo-conservatives and the liberals. There are of course exceptions, people still loyal to the old conservative mores of state’s rights, the moderates who embrace both sides of the spectrum, and of course the morons that reside on each end of their respective sides. I’m not that intrigued in the definition of liberals, because for the most part their name is apt. Larger government spending, expanded social programs, sex with animals, that sort of thing.

The Neo-Conservatives however, are a completely different beast because the name is so misleading. Conservatives, classically that is, are proponents of smaller government and states rights. Admittedly that’s a broad stroke. There are nuances to conservative doctrine going back to Theodore Roosevelt, but for the purposes of this essay we’ll use the basic embrace of small government and all that comes with it. (N.B. this whole “Party of Lincoln” trip that the Republicans are on right now is really ridiculous. Think about what the Civil War was over? Really think. FEDERAL AUTHORITY OVER STATE’S RIGHTS. Christ man, you’d think that if people actually took a moment to mull over what was said by pundits they’d throw something at their TV.)

I’ll do most of this defining at surface level because I’d much rather you all read the paper or a book than looking over what I have to say.

Take a look at some of the flashpoint issues today in the presidential race; gay marriage, abortion, energy crisis, war on terror, I’m sure I’m forgetting a bunch but that’s a start.
The first two, while decidedly religious issues that would define you as either a social conservative or liberal, have been taken by the neo-conservatives and turned into federal issues. A constitutional ban on gay marriage and abortion would be the anathema of original conservative doctrine. Why would a dogma supporting the state’s right to choose ask the national government to decide on a woman’s right to choose? Is it because they are a question of “ethics”? Does that make the rule of state’s rights obsolete? If a state chooses wrong can they still retain rights?

The question of off-shore drilling, which I’ve dealt with shortly here, as it relates to energy independence is an issue that is a little more complicated than the aforementioned ethics queries. But the neo-conservative stance on that topic is to federally force open many areas that have been closed by the states for oil drilling, including the Artic Refuge and the Florida and California coasts.

Lastly, the “war on terror”, or whatever the name is currently, in a domestic sense is the ultimate insult to conservative doctrine. Concepts like national wire-tapping warrants, the patriot act, interminable holding of “terror” suspects, and the invention of Homeland Security, could not be more different from the original beliefs of conservatives. All of them are rife with federal supremacy over any desire of the states. It is almost as in “neo-conservatives” were invented in the shadow of a fearful populous. The new rules of conservatism were slapped together in order to give many classic conservatives no time to think about what was happening to their dogma. An amazingly well oiled machine of propaganda has blighted the conservatives of America with trepidation of anyone that does not fit their idea of a “good America”.

I’ll go out on a limb and say that if the Republicans had stuck to their guns of old I might be riding an elephant instead of a donkey. States rights are extremely important especially in a country as big as ours. (NB: I wonder if an inhabitant of a place like Rhode Island would feel the same way about state’s rights as some one like me from California. It would seem as though small states benefit more than large states from federal decisions. Just some food for thought.) Instead the conservatives have taken their constituents and scared the hell out of them, slapped a “neo” in front of their name, and become the ass holes we all know today.

Homework: Here’s a little question I picked up from Tavis Smiley, we all talk about how Barack “transcends race” right? How come white candidates don’t have to transcend their race? And here’s a great article I got from my brother on the Chinese run-up to the Olympics: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7537838.stm  Improvements huh?

Little Insecurities

So I saw a movie last night that I’ve been wanting to see for some time now. It’s a film called “The Visitor”, and it’s been out for, oh, probably over a month now. You can catch it at whatever theater near you plays the limited release movies, usually near a college, art section of town, you know, hippie places.

Anyways, this movie, “The Visitor” (there’s a slight spoiler alert, but nothing overt, more of a thematic alert), is ostensibly about a widower college professor who befriends a couple (in the the romantic sense) of Middle Eastern (illegal) immigrants (one from Syria, the other a Muslim Senegalese, so yes not really the Middle East). Empirically however it is about something much more important.

The movie, for lack of a more verbose description, is slow. It is a typical heavy drama, with very few momens of light interaction, and an even less engaging main character (the point being that he is so disaffected that you can’t help but wonder about him). In doing so, however, it lowers your defense for the few moments of intensity. The anger that the professor feels when his friend is profiled and sent to a detention center, the languish of the mother when she realizes her son is gone, and the jubilant feeling of freedom from expectations.

So that’s the movie, it was great, I wasn’t enthralled every moment, but as I’ll explain soon that wasn’t the point.

Empirically the movie was about the new generation and how we treat our immigrants, legal or otherwise. It does a great job at displaying the differences between how an individual treats the immigration issue and how a group (or government) does. There are two defining parts in how the film deals with the problem, one from the immigrant side, and one from the national side. I’ll tackle them one at a time.

Terek, the Syrian 20-something drum player, is eventually detained by NYPD for jumping a turnstyle at a subway station. Now, of course, in the movie he doesn’t actually do anything wrong. He gets stuck in between bars after paying his and his professor friend’s (which has happened to me countless times) with his drum and jumps over the last bar. NYPD descends upon him, asks him his nationality, and sends him to an immigration detention center. The movie doens’t make any qualms about the arrest of illegal immigrants, there’s no fight over that fact, because, well it’s a “law”. What it does do though is discuss the ethics of immigration arrests in the first place. One of the most compelleing lines in the movie comes when Terek’s frustation is at a peak and he screams, “We are not terrorists! The terrorists have money! They have support!” Now what an interesting concept. We arrest countless of poor, or lower-middle class immigrants everyday, and not once do we think that these international terrorist cells are some of the most well funded organizations in the world. Osama has billions in family assets, enough to buy living spaces, food, supplies, anything else they might need.

The people we have in detention centers aren’t terrorists, they’re doing the same thing our parents did when they first came to this country, working however they can and trying to live in America. Now I can’t say I understand the plight of the new immigrant to America, I’ve never had to endure anything close to coming to new country and trying to understand its culture which can sometimes be unforgiving. Being an ex-pat and being an immigrant are very different situations.

Now since I can’t say much for that scenario, the most moving moment in the whole movie is when the main professor is in the detention center asking about his friend who has been transferred without any notice to any number of centers in the US. He exclaims, “You can’t do this to people! We are not helpless children!”. What a statement. Our government has taken the problem of immigration and transformed it into this protectionist dogma of a concerned parent. Even more compelling is that this is a “conservative” movement, the same brand that concerns itself with smaller government and states rights. How ironic then that republicans want to cover America in so much protective plastic that the size of the government will continue to grow until immigration is non-existent and our beautiful process of heterogenity starts to move backwards.

Our government has transformed us into xenophobic children, the kind that will always need protection from the outside world and the inhabitants that might come to our country. It is amazing then, that the same pundits who calim to be “classic conservative”, those who love the idea of a liberalized global economy and hate the idea of a government that interferes in any way, are so against the idea of immigration and a more liberal policy on that front. I know that the comment made by the professor in the detention center struck a chord with me, and I realize that we are not children, and we cannot be told who are our friends and who are our enemies.

American Buffet

American Buffet

Anyone who thinks I’m going to talk about Warren Buffet can stop reading now. Just a little disclaimer.

Remember in middle school social studies when we talked about immigration and how America was the great “melting pot” of the world? A place where cultures could come together in one place and all become “American” by virtue of the fact that we live close to each other. Anyone else realize that’s not really true?

We’ve gone from a melting pot to a buffet (or as my East Asian studies inclined brother says, a hot pot). That is to say, that maybe we taste good in combination but we are separated by very real gaps, both literal and figurative. We at once live in one nation while we are separated in myriad others.

I love living here. I’ve spent half my life on both coasts, have plenty of friends who live in the middle and I wouldn’t want to call anywhere else my home. That being said, the divide between cultures has never been so fierce. I don’t know if it stems from xenophobic suspicion in our constant post-9/11 “us against them” mentality or if it’s simply that those who come to this country feel a stronger ethnocentric connection than those who came before them.

I am by no means an isolationist. Living in California gives me a pretty good view of all that immigration has done for this country, and by that I mean it has done basically everything. And by living internationally I saw how important cultural identity is to those who fear ideological imperialism. The vast majority of Hispanic immigrants in California (and I’m sure elsewhere as well) are valiantly attempting to learn English, and to be quite honest not enough has been done about Americans learning to speak Spanish. It should be a source of national embarrassment that as a country with literally hundreds of languages we do not have a mandatory 2nd language program for public schools, nor do we have a robust ESL program for immigrant children. Anger directed at immigrants who cannot speak English, like that of the owner of Gino’s in Philadelphia (the most famous Philly Cheesesteak joint in Philly) put up signs reading “This is American, Order in English,” is misattributed. The anger should be directed at a government that doesn’t offer anything more than “Welcome to America” pamphlet when it should really be offering language classes par gratis.

However, there are pockets of ethnocentric immigrants in New York, California, and Florida (among other places) who refuse to assimilate in any way to the country they inhabit. This is by no means limited to minority immigrants, often times whites from Western Europe can be the most viciously anti-adaptation. However it is discouraging to see an already self-segregated nation become fearfully segmented.

The specifics of the anti-assimilation sentiment are obvious to anyone who lives in a state where the immigration population is large. Young Mexican-Americans who slap giant “Hecho en Mexico” decals on their cars, Asian-Americans who often have no desire to speak English, and Europeans who abhor America for its “cowboy culture” are all, as controversial as it is to say, problems. Have we, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th generation immigrants ourselves, created an America that is no longer friendly to outside cultures? And so much so that others cling to their identities so tightly that the American identity has no chance? We are, as has been repeated over and over again, a nation of immigrants. No where else in the world are Chinese New Year, Cinco de Mayo, Yom Kippur, and Arbor Day celebrated by people in the same nation.

Now, it’s easy for me to say these things because, well, I’m white. My mother is 2nd generation Japanese-American and my father a 7th generation Scot. My immigrant identity was lost a long time ago, and while there are certainly slight Asian variations in my life, I am completely American culturally. Giving up cultural identity, especially in a nation that has lost its place on the top of the hill in terms of ideological respect, is not something easily done. I think, perhaps, that where people like Lou Dobbs are wrong is that the immigrants are not the problem with language barriers and the working class, it is the fact that over the last couple decades America has lost its place as the cultural meeting point of the world. Sure, people still flock to the states for economic opportunity, but there is something missing from what used to be the “Land of Opportunity” in all facets.

It is frustrating to see so many people who come to America because they view it as the premiere locale but have no desire to become actually American. I am sure though, that the idea of dropping ones cultural identity is equally as consternating, and we, as Americans, should understand that rather than lament it.